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What are Pronouns?
Pronouns are linguistic tools that we use to refer to people, such as they/them/theirs, she/her/hers, and he/him/his. Some people call these “female/feminine” and “male/masculine” pronouns; however, it is best to avoid these labels because not everyone who uses “he” is male or feels masculine. A person’s pronouns inform us how to best refer to and honor them. Pronouns do not indicate someone’s gender identity, as gender is personal, complex, and specific to the individual. Using personal pronouns is a way to respect others and create an inclusive space just as using a person's name can be a way to respect them.
Types of Pronouns
| Subjective | Possessive Adjective | Objective | Possessive Pronoun | Reflexive |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| he | him | his | his | himself |
| she | her | her | hers | herself |
| they | them | their | theirs | themself |
| xie | hir ("here") | hir | hirs | hirself |
| yo | yo | yos | yos | yoself |
| ze | zir | zir | zirs | zirself |
| ve | vis | ver | ver | verself |
| co | co | cos | cos | coself |
| en | en | ens | ens | enself |
| ey | em | eir | eirs | emself |
Using the Correct Pronouns
Using someone’s correct, defined as self-disclosed, pronouns shows that you respect the person you’re speaking to or about and their identity. It is important to practice in order to minimize mistakes. You should practice referring to people by their stated pronouns even when they are not present.
- Asking for Pronouns : You are welcome to ask what pronouns people use to ensure you know how to refer to them. However, it is important not to put anyone on the spot or unintentionally “out” people, so consider asking privately or normalize the option of sharing pronouns. For example: “What pronouns do you use?”
- Providing opportunities to share pronouns: Provide frequent opportunities, such as at the beginning of the term, meetings, or events, in groups, or among friends and peers, to share pronouns without requiring sharing.
- When pronouns are unknown: If you are unsure about a person’s pronouns, consider using that person’s name in lieu of a pronoun. Alternatively, consider using they/them, as it is more gender inclusive. For example: “The student said they completed the assigned homework.”
Ways to make language more inclusive
- Setting 1 : Group Greetings"Hello, everyone" or "How are y'all doing today?" in a group setting instead of "Hey guys!" or "Hey ladies" or "How are you guys doing?"
- Setting 2 : Student Year Terminology "They are a first year" when referring to a student instead of "they are a freshman"
- Setting 3: Avoiding Pronoun Assumptions If you are unsure of someone's pronouns, you can use their name in place of any pronoun: "Sam was feeling hungry, so Sam went to WCG for a snack"
Pronouns in practice
- Example 1 : They reminded themselves to pick up their umbrella before going outside.
- How you could ask: "I use they/them/theirs pronouns, how about you? " Hi, my name is Akeem, and I go by he/him pronouns. How should I refer to you?"
- "I'm Nancy and my pronouns are she and her"
- "My name is Jade, I use she/herpronouns."
- "Leo, I prefer they and them, but he is fine too."
Practice Thoughtful Apologies
- Misgendering or misnaming:Using pronouns other than the ones a person has asked you to use can make them feel unwelcome, invisible, or unsafe in the community. This is called misgendering someone. Sometimes a person's pronouns will change without a change in gender identity or expression.
- Thoughtful apologies: If you make a mistake, quickly correct yourself and apologize. Do not make a big deal out of it for it is not necessarily helpful and could be harmful.If this is a growth area for you, practice. If you find yourself repeatedly misgendering someone, it is important to apologize sincerely and thoughtfully. Then, and on your own, take the time and initiative to reflect on your behavior to try to understand why you are continuing to make such mistakes.
